If You Love Something
by ZaraShade
Summary: Jibbs. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, it was never really yours." One-shot. Gibbs' POV.


**I know, I should probably be updating WGHWY, but I just couldn't resist uploading this. I actually wrote it a little while ago and found it again recently. It was inspired by the following quote. I hope you all enjoy it. **

"_If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's your forever. If it doesn't, it was never really yours." _

Hell. That's what it had been like for him loosing her the first time. He had spent so much time rebuilding his life after Shannon and Kelly, and had finally thought he had found someone who completed him. She truly had too. Before, he had been living – existing – but now he had _reason_ to live, to be happy in a way he hadn't been for so long. She had waltzed into his life – in those impossibly high heels – not knowing the impact she would have on his life. She had become his everything. But she had breezed out of his life as suddenly as she had blown into it, leaving behind nothing more than a memory and a coat that smelled so much – so painfully – of her perfume.

He had struggled to get over her, to move on once again, and to try and rebuild his life from the crumbling ruins for the second time; trying to get over the memory of something so dear that he had lost. But it wasn't her fault, not really, however much he would like to blame her – to _hate _her – for leaving. She didn't know about Shannon and Kelly and the pain he had gone through. She didn't know how fragile he really was behind his façade. She didn't know how much loosing her would cost him. Indeed, he _couldn't _hate her for leaving because he wanted her to be happy. She needed to leave and do whatever she was doing for her career, because otherwise she would never be quite happy. He had to let her go. He loved her too much to keep her selfishly with him when he knew it would hold her back. So, he had to let her go and hope – even pray – that one day she would return to him.

The years had passed, and slowly Gibbs had learned to live without her. True, it was never the same. He never did experience that rush or extreme happiness he did when with her, but he had to try. He had to try and be happy _for _her. He learnt to cope. Sometimes, he would wonder where she was and what she was doing, whether she was thinking of him, whether he plagued her mind in the way that she did to his… whether she had found someone else. He hoped not. He knew it was selfish of him to think that thought, that he should really wish for her to find someone so she could move on in the way he hadn't, but he couldn't bring himself to. He just couldn't stand the thought of someone else touching her, caressing her… loving her.

He had made a life for himself in DC. He had his job and his dysfunctional family at NCIS and he was content. He loved his team – though he would never readily admit it – and he was glad to have them around, however much they annoyed him at times. When Kate had died, he had felt so angry and suddenly the memories he had so desperately tried to suppress from the past had come rushing forwards. He had failed to protect yet another person dear to him. He had lost again.

Then, like a dream or a vision, Jenny had appeared. This redheaded angel from the past had returned to him when he had felt at the end of his tether, when he had felt so helpless pursing Ari; she had swooped in to save him. She had sashayed back into his life like he had wished she would for so long. Things were suddenly looking so much brighter. She had come back; she was in his life once more. Even if she only claimed to be interested in a professional relationship, he knew it was only a matter of time before they were once again in each other's arms; because they never could resist each other. That is just the way things were between them. They weren't meant to be apart, they worked so much better when together. It was only a matter of time before they were whole again.

So, for now, he would bide his time and relish the moments they spent together – those precious arguments and office dinners – until the day when she would come to him, walking down his basement steps in those ridiculously high heels, and they could be truly be one again… because she had come back to him, and she would be his forever.

**Please leave a review and tell me what you think. **

**xox**

**ZS**


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